Denial Leads to Success

Take one off the chin and keep pushing forward!

WHEN WAS THE FIRST TIME YOU WERE EVER DENIED SOMETHING? You were probably a child climbing on the counter for a cookie. Your mom grabbed you and told you that you had to eat your dinner first. You respond by eating three fork scoops of  Mac and Cheese and a bite of a hot dog. As a result, your mom gave you a cookie.

Now, think of the first time you ever really wanted something. Maybe it was a grade in a class. You needed to do well on a final to make that grade so you studied every day for a week. When it came to test time, you felt confident. A week later, you found out you didn’t make that grade. So what did you do next? Did you give up on school? No. You better prepared yourself over the course of a marking period or semester and made the grade much easier. You learned from that experience.

Now you get a little older and you face bigger denials. Maybe college is your aim. You work your ass off for four years of high school sometimes putting in 12 hours a day with extra-curricular activities to best set your self up to get into the college of your dreams. You apply in October and wait until March. You get anxious, doubt yourself, and look back on all of the moments you could’ve been better. You finally get that letter back. Some of you were accepted and had one big dream realized. Others weren’t so lucky. Regardless, you went on to a college to face more obstacles and possibly more denials.

It doesn’t stop when you’re done being a student. You will work and the rewards will seem sweet. You may even forget the feeling of denial for a little while because you have a nice paycheck from a pretty good entry-level job to afford your drinks out and rent for your bachelor pad. But here’s the kicker: you haven’t found true success.

Maybe it’s the promotion you’ve been working your ass off for 15 years. Maybe it’s that book you wrote that nobody is reading or that podcast that nobody is listening to. Maybe the only person that hears you sing is your dog in the bathroom when you shower but you wish your audience was the world.

The difference between those that find that true success and their dreams realized is one major thing: they keep pushing harder after their denial.

Just like your first attempt at a cookie, you will be denied again. It will happen over and over. Life will kick you down so many times that you will feel like you will never be able to get up and feel good again. When you try to make your dreams a reality, the denials will become more frequent. You are attempting to make a major life change. It will take time and it will take tough skin. If you don’t have either, you won’t make it.

When you work your ass off, you will be rewarded. Don’t rely on others to give you the reward or success, go get it. When you are on the outside looking in at people who you deem successful, you only see the end result and think, “why can’t I be like them.” What you are missing is the years of struggle and heart ache, the internal battles, and the constant denials.

Success does not happen over night. It’s a life game. Those that truly find it, are the ones that roll with the punches, learn from their experiences, and welcome the denials because they lead you on your path to true success.

Check out this scene from Rocky Balboa that brings home our message this week.

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